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5 Things To Do On Mother’s Day Other Than Buying Your Mama Home Equipment

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It’s mama’s day again! The time of the year when we have to give back to that incredible woman who’s been handling our mess ups all our lives. Enough buying your precious mama home and kitchen equipment, she doesn’t need that! Instead, try to pamper her through getting her something nice and spending some real quality time with her, here’s a list of things that you can do together this year:

1. Take her out for a fancy dinner

Make your mama feel like a fancy duchess and take her out for some paperdelle with sea urchin or some pasta with lamb ragu! You don’t understand a word? Good, means it’s fancy AF

2. Take her out to the movies


Go see a a family comedy with your mama at the movies, it doesn’t cost much and it’s always a lot of fun! You can see a horror flick if you want…if your mama’s into that sorta thing. if you’re still unsure about which movie to see, check out our movie calendar, updated with all the latest films and their screening times.

3. Take her to a spa


No mother in the world could ever say no to a day at the spa! This one is guaranteed to get you at least 100+ mama points!
So, that every time she starts a fight with you, you’d remind her of that time you sent her on a trip to go see magical hands Mosheera

4. Buy her a nice anti-aging skin care set


Trust me, mothers love that sh*t! You have no idea! Especially, if you buy them a really fancy set of creams and lotions and all that yada yada, just don’t mention the anti-aging part. You both know it but you don’t have to talk about it. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

5. A day-use at a hotel


Wouldn’t it be nice to bond with your mama while sipping on piña coladas in a pool? Book a day-use at a nice hotel that isn’t extraordinarily luxurious and expensive and go enjoy the sun and the water alongside your beautiful mama!

Happy mother’s day, suckers! 

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Am I Perfect? Are You Perfect?

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perfection

What is it to be perfect? What is perfection? How can a word so common amongst the masses of people be also understood by some to be referring to that which does not exist?

Of course perfection exists. My mom is perfect. My dad too. And other things are perfect as well, like my favorite meal. But wait, how can my parents be perfect at the same time as when I, at times, see other parents and I would wish my parents were like them? Well, my favorite meal is that which my mom makes, and is definitely perfect–at least when my mom makes it. Yet what if I find that my best friend’s mom makes it better? Or even more radically, what if I find out that sushi tastes a thousand times better than that which I consider perfect, and is my favorite meal? Then in that case, my perfect meal would no longer be perfect; I would have discovered that which is more perfect. And so too my parents: no matter how many particular characteristics I would want my parents to have, each time they acquired one, I’d still find myself thinking that other parents have at least one more characteristic that makes them more perfect.

This notion that the measurement of perfection is constantly changing, I find specifically interesting. Even if we reach that level which we had labeled as being perfect, we reach it and do not end up finding perfection. Let us consider an example. Suppose that my girlfriend asks me about my opinion with regards to her body. I respond by saying “if you lose two pounds, you will be perfect.” Now, suppose that my girlfriend lost those two pounds and some time later approaches me with the same question, but this time I reply saying that her body is amazing, but she needs to work on her butt. So, what has happened here?

I claim that we create the state of what we call “perfection” when we recognize that something could improve, or could change to the “better.” In other words, when I tell my girlfriend that losing two pounds would lead her to having the perfect body, I thereby create a mirage of perfection. An illusory state of affairs that is never really attained. Because once my girlfriend has dropped those two pounds, I would want her to work on her butt, for that would lead her to be more perfect.

So what can we do? How can we perceive this notion of perfection? I suggest that we need to refine our notion of what perfection is. The obvious issue here is the mirage. We would have to create a notion of perfection that cannot be altered by a change in state of affairs. So to use my previous example, my girlfriend is good enough the way she is now–her weight is perfect. Dropping two pounds would not make her perfect; dropping two pounds would rather place me in a position where I start to look for other things that would make her perfect. But there remains to know the difference between that which is perfect, and that which is good enough. I don’t know whether or not such a difference exists, but I do know that something that is not sustainable cannot be perfect.

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XX >= XY

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men

Whether one wishes to call it patriarchy, or even Smelly-Feet Land. It is clear that one cannot deny that we today live in a world where man has privilege. Woman, as it were, is constantly second to man. It is of course okay to be second, but only insofar as both parties are given equal basic privilege, which is evidently not the case among man and woman. As for those who are skeptical of the above-mentioned claims, I invite you to take a careful look at the annual statistics of women’s salaries and compare them to those of men–wherein they both have the same privilege, that is, same position in the workplace. Or as a much simpler example, try to recall the last piece of text you’ve read and take a look at the pronouns presented therein. Can you find the pronoun “she”? The answer is not likely.

I am not interested in the causes of such state of being of a society. What interests me the most are the subtle notions. Notions which, on the outside, seem very regular and supportive toward women, but are less explicitly not only undermining, but also affirmative of the patriarchal structure, and even more powerful and impactful than those which are more explicit. Let us consider a couple of examples.

  1. Dick and Jane are very good friends. They have known each other for a couple of years. When Dick is not hanging out with his friends (who are gameholics and have absolutely no social life), he likes to go read with Jane at their favorite coffeeshop (don’t worry, they won’t end up dating–Jane is a Lesbian). Every time they go to the coffeeshop, Dick, like the gentleman he is, would open the door for Jane, thereby allowing her to enter first. But this is where we are mistaken: the fact that Dick opened the door for Jane is less a sign of respect, but more so a reaffirmation of the status quo. Dick is confirming to himself, and to Jane that he has privilege. We should not create this difference. It should not matter who enters first.
  2. Jane is facing a very difficult time at work. Her boss won’t send her to report on an important story. He instead sent her male colleague. Jane she comes to speak with the one person she trusts: Dick. Jane explains her problem and confesses that she feels frustrated and does not know if she could handle it. Dick replies by saying “don’t worry about it, Jane. You can do it–you have the power.” Dick here, though saying she could do it, has implicitly confirmed to himself, and to Jane that he is, as a man, far more superior. He should’ve said something like “try again, Jane.” Jane would have wanted Dick to support her in that way, and to show her that he is aware that the male colleague has privilege.

It is these subtle notions that I consider far more dangerous and impactful. We should be aware of them and work on refining them.

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Fluffy With The Wooden Leg!

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modern

Fluffy The Wooden Legged is an average guy who lives in the city of Diedrich. Fluffy wakes up at 08:05 and tries to dress up very fast in order to go to work (which starts at 08:00, but Fluffy is a lazy idiot.).

Fluffy arrives late to work as usual. His boss gives Fluffy a hard time, but eventually lets it slide. Fluffy then proceeds to the kitchen in the office, where he makes his delicious morning coffee: a decaf. He socializes with a co-worker, and then proceeds to his office.

During lunch hour, Fluffy likes to jump outside and head to Assburgers, which is a local restaurant that serves the most unhealthful food. Fluffy would orders his regular lunch that consists of the signature burger, and root beer. He finishes his lunch and then rushes back to the office to continue his duties.

Come five o’clock, Fluffy gets super excited. He gets to go home now. Finally done with work and can now drive back home where he can lay on the couch and watch Netflix. But when it is almost nine, Fluffy’s most primal desire hits him. He now wants to fulfill a desire. The desire to meet someone, or maybe sleep with someone. Fluffy doesn’t want to take any risks, though, so he immediately goes online and browses through one of those online dating websites. A girl named Nonabel. They chat for about thirty minutes, and then agree to meet on the same night. They end up meeting and they sleep together. Fluffy wakes up the following morning and goes to work.

One day after work, Fluffy receives a notification from an online store stating that they “now have the most intelligent being that we’ve all been waiting for: Kyra. Hurry up and pre-order your intelligent life companion!” Fluffy hesitates no further, and immediately places an order. Kyra arrives to Fluffy’s front door after a month. He invites her and gets to know her. Kyra is an artificially intelligent robot designed for the sole purpose of having sex with men.

Decaf: coffee with no caffeine; root beer: beer with no alcohol; online dating: love without the fall; sex robot: pleasure without the fall and without the involvement of another human. This is the life of Fluffy. A life where everything is played safely. The post-modern life.

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