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An Open Letter to My Unborn yet Daughter

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An Open Letter to My Unborn yet Daughter

Dear Future Daughter, 

Your mom lived a not easy life and wants you to live a better one than hers.  I will give you the lessons learned from my mistakes to avoid it. I understand that you will want to have your own experiences and identity but let me tell you the lessons I learned maybe it could help you out.

  • You are a beauty darling, never allow anyone (boy or girl) make you feel ugly; or ask you to change who you are. And if you find those people around you leave them, they don’t deserve your time.
  • Love and care for people around you. Always keep in mind that what you give will be returned to you. So always be a giver.
  • Never allow anyone to take you for granted, give them because you want to, not because you are obliged to.
  • Always choose to be a good person. Being kind is easy but remaining kind is not. So always choose to be kind, life is a choice.
  • Know your passion and work on it. I want to see the sparkle in your eyes and the passion of loving something wakes you up every day to work on it.
  • Take risks and learn from the consequences.
  • Yes you can have a boyfriend, I accept it. And yes you have to go through relations and heartbreaks. Those experiences will hurt you but will make you stronger and will help you to realize who you want to be.
  • Don’t be rushed to get old, Have fun baby and enjoy every single stage of your life. Take a lot of pictures, and always remember life is about the journey not the destiny.
  • I don’t care what grades you get as long as you pass your exams. I want you to be smart, sociable and have interests. I have grown up and realized that my colleagues with the highest grades are not successful in their careers and desperate in their social life. So I want you to be a hard worker and achieve more in your practical life not to learn everything by the book.
  • Always look good and take care. Wear whatever you want but in the right places. Remember every place has its own suitable clothes.
  • Never allow a guy to use you mentally, emotionally or physically. You will find a lot of guys out there who just want to have fun and they will never be serious about it; don’t get attached to them and don’t get involved deeply. Always put in mind they are just playing games.
  • Don’t marry a guy just for the idea of getting married. Marry the guy you want to spend your life and share every single detail of your life with him. Don’t rush marriage take all the time you want to decide whether he is the one or not. If you don’t feel like you want to get married it’s OK, I will support you and I will always be proud of you. Marriage doesn’t mean success; it’s a normal step in people’s life. Do it only when you feel like able to take this responsibility and found the oneEveryone gets married but not everyone is happy or successful.
  • You have to learn to say “No”. No for the people coming on your nerves, for the things you don’t want to do, the uncomfortable situations, and for the plans you don’t want to be part of. Don’t be shy just say No and don’t frustrate yourself.
  • I will always have your back and you will never be alone. I am there whenever you want me and will never give up on you.
  • I want you to find your own identity, leave a legacy and realize who you are.

Your Mum Loves You before Even Seeing You

Sincerely,

Your Future Mum

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Am I Perfect? Are You Perfect?

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perfection

What is it to be perfect? What is perfection? How can a word so common amongst the masses of people be also understood by some to be referring to that which does not exist?

Of course perfection exists. My mom is perfect. My dad too. And other things are perfect as well, like my favorite meal. But wait, how can my parents be perfect at the same time as when I, at times, see other parents and I would wish my parents were like them? Well, my favorite meal is that which my mom makes, and is definitely perfect–at least when my mom makes it. Yet what if I find that my best friend’s mom makes it better? Or even more radically, what if I find out that sushi tastes a thousand times better than that which I consider perfect, and is my favorite meal? Then in that case, my perfect meal would no longer be perfect; I would have discovered that which is more perfect. And so too my parents: no matter how many particular characteristics I would want my parents to have, each time they acquired one, I’d still find myself thinking that other parents have at least one more characteristic that makes them more perfect.

This notion that the measurement of perfection is constantly changing, I find specifically interesting. Even if we reach that level which we had labeled as being perfect, we reach it and do not end up finding perfection. Let us consider an example. Suppose that my girlfriend asks me about my opinion with regards to her body. I respond by saying “if you lose two pounds, you will be perfect.” Now, suppose that my girlfriend lost those two pounds and some time later approaches me with the same question, but this time I reply saying that her body is amazing, but she needs to work on her butt. So, what has happened here?

I claim that we create the state of what we call “perfection” when we recognize that something could improve, or could change to the “better.” In other words, when I tell my girlfriend that losing two pounds would lead her to having the perfect body, I thereby create a mirage of perfection. An illusory state of affairs that is never really attained. Because once my girlfriend has dropped those two pounds, I would want her to work on her butt, for that would lead her to be more perfect.

So what can we do? How can we perceive this notion of perfection? I suggest that we need to refine our notion of what perfection is. The obvious issue here is the mirage. We would have to create a notion of perfection that cannot be altered by a change in state of affairs. So to use my previous example, my girlfriend is good enough the way she is now–her weight is perfect. Dropping two pounds would not make her perfect; dropping two pounds would rather place me in a position where I start to look for other things that would make her perfect. But there remains to know the difference between that which is perfect, and that which is good enough. I don’t know whether or not such a difference exists, but I do know that something that is not sustainable cannot be perfect.

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XX >= XY

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men

Whether one wishes to call it patriarchy, or even Smelly-Feet Land. It is clear that one cannot deny that we today live in a world where man has privilege. Woman, as it were, is constantly second to man. It is of course okay to be second, but only insofar as both parties are given equal basic privilege, which is evidently not the case among man and woman. As for those who are skeptical of the above-mentioned claims, I invite you to take a careful look at the annual statistics of women’s salaries and compare them to those of men–wherein they both have the same privilege, that is, same position in the workplace. Or as a much simpler example, try to recall the last piece of text you’ve read and take a look at the pronouns presented therein. Can you find the pronoun “she”? The answer is not likely.

I am not interested in the causes of such state of being of a society. What interests me the most are the subtle notions. Notions which, on the outside, seem very regular and supportive toward women, but are less explicitly not only undermining, but also affirmative of the patriarchal structure, and even more powerful and impactful than those which are more explicit. Let us consider a couple of examples.

  1. Dick and Jane are very good friends. They have known each other for a couple of years. When Dick is not hanging out with his friends (who are gameholics and have absolutely no social life), he likes to go read with Jane at their favorite coffeeshop (don’t worry, they won’t end up dating–Jane is a Lesbian). Every time they go to the coffeeshop, Dick, like the gentleman he is, would open the door for Jane, thereby allowing her to enter first. But this is where we are mistaken: the fact that Dick opened the door for Jane is less a sign of respect, but more so a reaffirmation of the status quo. Dick is confirming to himself, and to Jane that he has privilege. We should not create this difference. It should not matter who enters first.
  2. Jane is facing a very difficult time at work. Her boss won’t send her to report on an important story. He instead sent her male colleague. Jane she comes to speak with the one person she trusts: Dick. Jane explains her problem and confesses that she feels frustrated and does not know if she could handle it. Dick replies by saying “don’t worry about it, Jane. You can do it–you have the power.” Dick here, though saying she could do it, has implicitly confirmed to himself, and to Jane that he is, as a man, far more superior. He should’ve said something like “try again, Jane.” Jane would have wanted Dick to support her in that way, and to show her that he is aware that the male colleague has privilege.

It is these subtle notions that I consider far more dangerous and impactful. We should be aware of them and work on refining them.

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Articles

Fluffy With The Wooden Leg!

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modern

Fluffy The Wooden Legged is an average guy who lives in the city of Diedrich. Fluffy wakes up at 08:05 and tries to dress up very fast in order to go to work (which starts at 08:00, but Fluffy is a lazy idiot.).

Fluffy arrives late to work as usual. His boss gives Fluffy a hard time, but eventually lets it slide. Fluffy then proceeds to the kitchen in the office, where he makes his delicious morning coffee: a decaf. He socializes with a co-worker, and then proceeds to his office.

During lunch hour, Fluffy likes to jump outside and head to Assburgers, which is a local restaurant that serves the most unhealthful food. Fluffy would orders his regular lunch that consists of the signature burger, and root beer. He finishes his lunch and then rushes back to the office to continue his duties.

Come five o’clock, Fluffy gets super excited. He gets to go home now. Finally done with work and can now drive back home where he can lay on the couch and watch Netflix. But when it is almost nine, Fluffy’s most primal desire hits him. He now wants to fulfill a desire. The desire to meet someone, or maybe sleep with someone. Fluffy doesn’t want to take any risks, though, so he immediately goes online and browses through one of those online dating websites. A girl named Nonabel. They chat for about thirty minutes, and then agree to meet on the same night. They end up meeting and they sleep together. Fluffy wakes up the following morning and goes to work.

One day after work, Fluffy receives a notification from an online store stating that they “now have the most intelligent being that we’ve all been waiting for: Kyra. Hurry up and pre-order your intelligent life companion!” Fluffy hesitates no further, and immediately places an order. Kyra arrives to Fluffy’s front door after a month. He invites her and gets to know her. Kyra is an artificially intelligent robot designed for the sole purpose of having sex with men.

Decaf: coffee with no caffeine; root beer: beer with no alcohol; online dating: love without the fall; sex robot: pleasure without the fall and without the involvement of another human. This is the life of Fluffy. A life where everything is played safely. The post-modern life.

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