You might have attended a couple of weddings of your college colleagues last summer; however, more and more of us millennials are kind of avoiding and postponing the idea of marriage. Men and women alike seem to have other priorities and goals than getting wed-locked.
The obsession of getting married preferably as early as possible doesn’t exist in our generations, and the older ones just don’t get it yet. We can’t help but smile politely and forcibly when we are always asked when we are planning to settle down; “hanfr7 beko emta?” they always say.
So, here is to every “Tant” who still believes that the ultimate happiness only found in marriage, we have 4 reasons why we don’t really care about marriage:
In the 21st century, little girls are still taught to grow up aspiring to be housewives; instead of looking for making something out of themselves, they are told to get a husband as soon as possible. Right now, we are old enough to realize that be successful is focusing on yourself and working as hard as you can to reach your career goals. Marriage don’t make you a successful person, your achievements do.
Travelling the World:
We are no longer waiting to get married to make our wishes come true, we do know that waiting till marriage to do the things we want is a myth. Some of us realized that they are capable of making our wishes coming true by being strong, independent and working as hard as we can. We are too busy saving money and planning our next trips around the globe.
Figuring out who you are:
Relationships is a hard work, it needs two mature compatible partners. In order to maintain a healthy marriage, you need to figure out who you are first. We have realized that being lost or not have an idea who we really don’t really qualify us to build a family.
Yup, that is a 100% legit reason! Something about commitment makes us want to flee away. We would rather run free instead of being tied down to one person forever, the idea just sound re
How Can Ego Destroy A Relationship/Friendship?
There was one time when I came across a quote that changed my perspective a bit, quoting, “To be able to truly love yourself and to truly be able to love someone else, you must drop the ego.” And ever since I read those words, I couldn’t get them out and I’ve used it in my daily, everyday life.
This is absolutely fundamental to finding an astonishing relationship, but it’s equally crucial to preserving and continually enhancing a relationship once you’re already in it.
Nothing will wreak a relationship (even the best of relationships) faster than ego.
Here are ways that ego can definitely destroy the relationship and how you you can steer clear of down-falling your relationship.
1. Prevent The Seduction To Protect Yourself: Think about the number of times you’ve engaged with your partner, and whenever things get a little boiled up you start to protect yourself. All you hear is you being attacked, and you immediately go into “self defense” mode. Ego has a wicked way of making you perfect- not in your partner’s eyes, not in the world’s eyes but in your eyes alone. If you see yourself as ”Mr perfect” or “Miss perfect” then you would never have a successful relationship, and ego would wickedly make you think you are perfect. Do you know that when you defend yourself in a fight, what’s really happening is your ego is defending itself?
It also indicates that you’ve started to block the other person. You’ve temporarily stopped listening to the other person. If someone tells you that they don’t like the way you’ve been acting lately, why not hear them out instead of defending yourself? It will almost always create a MUCH better outcome. Communication is key in every relationship.
2. To Love Yourself And Someone Else Completely You Must Disconnect The Ego: In order to truly love someone, you must separate your ego from yourself. This is also true if you want to be able to totally love yourself. Now, I know that in a perfect world, we would never be ego-driven. This is not a perfect world of course, so let’s get real. We are all driven by our egos to some extent or another, so let’s acknowledge it and embrace that we need to separate the ego to maintain a truly outstanding relationship/friendship with someone.
3. Accept and give importance to others: it is one of the biggest challenges that we see in relationships. As every human is different from others and their opinions are also differ. It is very difficult to accept the point of views of other and make a compromise on them. If you don’t do so, it kills the relationships. Self-respect is very important for all, if you give importance to others, properly attend them and show affection, they notice it and such things matter a lot for others. This attitude strangers your relationship.
We should have the ability to listen to others effectively besides only speaking. Listening and understanding is the most important part of the successful interaction. We should value the other’s thinking if they right then accept them and if they are wrong then correct them.
4. Your Ego Can Ruin Any Conversation: You must have the ability to communicate others and to attend others in your conversation. So that people properly attend you, listen to you effectively and don’t make assumptions without listening. Most often, we let our pride or ego to take over the conversation. We think that we are already smart enough to even listen to other people. We think that we are better than other people and feel we have nothing more to learn from them. When we close ourselves and stop listening to other people, we are doomed because we stop learning. To eliminate this listening barrier, you have to be more open-minded to listen and learn from other people. Remember that you do not have to agree with everything, but it is helpful if you at least, listen to what they have to say. Effective communication skills have a great impact on your personality. The truth is that no matter how much you prepare, plan and hope for a good conversation with your significant other, your ego is the one thing that will consistently ruin any conversation you’re about to have if you let it.
Giving time to people is a huge gift, in a world where time is the essence; mostly we have no time to give to our loved ones, being present in time you give time to people is a great blessing.
When you truly attend someone not thinking about the past, not worrying about the future, just focus on someone, such connection makes strong relationships.
Everyone has ego; I have ego, you have ego, we all have ego; it’s a natural instinct that’s placed in all humans. Ego isn’t bad per say but the degree of your ego is what can kill your relationship.
Gaining control of your ego is the best thing that you can do for yourself or else it will continue getting in the way of your relationships, your career, and your life.
In order to fully listen to somebody, it’s uncomfortable. Sometimes your friend/partner has things that are really bothering them or they can’t really express how they truly feel about which they want to talk to you, but which you would rather not hear. To maintain a great relationship, however, you can’t let your ego keep you from really listening.
So the next time you see your ego getting involved in your relationship, get rid of it! If you find yourself defending yourself or not allowing you to really listen, then you need to take a step back. Take a deep breath and pause for a little and start thinking and listening. Listen carefully to what’s really being said, and use it to create such a cherished relationship/friendship.
Differences Between Dating A Boy And A Man
You may think that a boy and a man are the same thing but I could bet you that their entirely different. When you start dating a boy, you’ll know the huge difference and you may pray to meet the man of your dreams instead of meeting the boy of your dreams.
Normally, boys grow up to be real men but sometimes, they just grow but their mindset is still as childish as little boys and that’s why you got to be careful on who to choose among many others that you’ll complete your whole life with.
And in case you don’t know the difference between these two, we’ll tell you the difference between dating a man and dating a boy.
A boy may tell you he loves you. A man tells you they love you and actually backs it up with his actions. Actions actually speak louder than words. You can speak all you want but only men take actions to prove to you that they actually want and love you.
A boy makes you feel like you’re not good enough, worthless and not to mention, how perfect he is and you’re not. However, a man makes you want to be a better person because you have so much genuine respect for him. Don’t choose the better guy but choose the guy who makes you the better girl.
A boy is controlling and dominating. A man is protective. A boy thinks that acting like a man is how he controls your actions but on the other hand, a man trusts you and knows that you’re his backbone but protects you whenever you actually need the protection.
A boy will constantly make you feel ashamed of your accomplishments and always make you feel that you constantly in need to downgrade or diminish your achievements just for the sake he wouldn’t feel like the lower hand in the relationship, or feel embarrassed, or even radiate a little more than him. On the other hand, a man is not threatened by your success, but proud of it, and inspired by it. He will keep talking about how amazing you are and he’ll always be at the end of the room clapping for you and smiling proudly.
A boy will think that he’s the prize. A man acknowledges that he have to put in work and are eagerly willing to do so.
A boy wants a woman to chase him. On the other hand, a man understands his role as a leader and will find you no matter what the circumstances are.
A boy is always “testing” — he doesn’t fully commit because he never knows if he is quite ready. But the truth is, because he is a boy, regardless of who he meets, he will never be ready due to the stage of life he is in. However, a man knows when to invest in a woman and jump in with two feet.
A boy is interested and involved with his own interests. However, a man cannot enjoy himself unless he’s sure you are too. A man actually puts your happiness first, he chooses you and only you. He makes you priority in his life.
A boy focuses on what he wants now, now, now. A boy never actually looks forward, only under his knees. A man lives in the now but is always planning for the future. A man thinks about your future children’s names, the happy house you’ll both call home someday, you two being the happiest married couple, expressing your vows in the wedding ceremony, and that’s all he thinks about, building a joyful happy family.
A boy will spend time with the friends of yours – only if he likes them. A man will spend time with your friends and family regardless of his feelings towards them, because if they’re important to you, they’re important to him. He will love them just because you do!
A boy undervalues you. On the other hand, a man isn’t afraid to challenge you; he acknowledges what you’re actually capable of and he knows you can do anything. Instead of putting you down, he raises your self esteem!
A boy will let his desires control him. A man will respect your purity.
A boy will be interested in your life for as long as he can get something out of it. A man will be interested in your life because he cares about you and wants to understand you more deeply as a person. He wants to help you out with your problems, he wants to be there for you when no one is.
A boy will respect you only if he wants something in return. A man will respect you no matter the circumstance are.
A boy will make excuses as to why he can’t provide. A man will sacrifice a lot and do whatever it takes just so he can provide.
A boy is always thinking of whether or not he could do better, he thinks he’s always the best and you’re lucky that he’s in your life. A man knows when he has something good right in front of him and never takes it for granted. A man can actually change for the better just for the sake of you being happy but a boy thinks that there’s no better than him.
A boy is intimidate by the idea of feminism, convinced that being a feminist classifies you as angry, aggressive, man-hating, and independent. A man understands that feminism is simply the belief that men and women are equal. He knows how independent you are and how strong you can be.
A boy will look to gain popularity from people around him. An actual man will look to gain the respect of your family and friends.
A boy thinks he must take you under his wing. Although, a man knows that a relationship actually means the two of you are providing equally for each other.
A boy changes his beliefs depending on the girl he’s with. A man is firm in his beliefs.
A boy holds back and restraints everything up, and lashes out and scolds you because of too much anger or other stifled emotions. A man admits when he needs you and isn’t afraid you’ll judge him. When he needs to talk, he goes to you and communicates with you truthfully, even if that means him feeling uncomfortable.
A boy makes promises he knows he can’t keep. A man has integrity.
A boy constantly makes excuses for his screwed up actions. A man admits when he makes a mess out of things, and always does everything he can to fix it. A man actually apologizes but a boy could blame you for his mistakes like you’re some hanger in his life.
A boy is either inseparable or impossible to get hold of. A man always makes time for you, while also making sure he has a life outside your relationship. He gives you your own space, too.
A boy is only interested in beauty, on what is one the outside just so he can show off. A man appreciates, cherish and admires your physical beauty, but is most attracted to your personality, the inner beauty. An actual man seeks more than just beauty. He sees you on what’s on the inside, and it’s out that counts, after all.
A boy thinks he already knows everything and that he’s never mistaken. A man walks around with the mindset that there is always something new to learn from everyone he contends with.
A boy needs you because of his brittle narcissism. A man needs you because he believes his life is better with you in it. He actually needs you as a companion in his life, helping him make life decisions and granting happiness to the both of you.
A boy is anxious with how you dress and look in front of his friends. A man does not care about what other people think, as long as you’re happy together. A man always blooms his girl when she’s around his friends, he always speaks about her like she’s the best person in his world in front or behind her back!
A boy is ready to do anything to get what he wants. A man is ready to love without hesitation and to sacrifice things he loves for you.
When you actually date a REAL MAN, you’ll start getting used to statements like, “Don’t worry babe, I’ve got it.” , “Let’s go …” , “Let’s do it …” , “When are you free this week? I want to take you out for dinner.” , “I planned this for us.” and “I got you a gift just because …” Instead of dealing with, “Sorry, I forgot.” , “I can’t make it, not today.” , “You didn’t text me first.” , “I was busy.” , “Let’s chill.” and “Sorry for not texting you all day.” Type of man.
Real men don’t love the most beautiful girl in the world. They love the girl who can make their world the most beautiful.
Have you learned what being a man is and what are a boy’s actions, yet? Choose wisely the man of your dreams and don’t ever let, what is entitled as, love, blind you from his actions.
10 Essentials Of Being In A Good Relationship (with anyone)
Falling in love is natural but keeping the love going requires effort. The early stages of a relationship can feel exciting, lovely, and effortless but trying to retain the swept-away feeling of romance/ friendship involves enduring effort and compromise by both partners. When you have just entered into a relationship/friendship, all you want to know is if you are going to have a good bond with your partner/best friend. So what is the key to a good relationship? Read below.
- Appreciation and respect: Try to give out a foundation of appreciation and respect when you want to establish a good relationship/friendship. Give attention to what your partner/best friend says and does. A happy couple/besties always tries to take the opportunity to say thank you to each other whenever a partner does something thoughtful rather than just pinpointing mistakes.
- Honest: Honesty creates trust. To form a good relationship/friendship with your partner/best friend and to become emotionally connected, all you need to do is to reveal your secrets and factual experiences that you don’t share with some else. It is about telling the truth to your partner/best friend so that he or she can rely on what you say, and understand your words as you try to express them directly. But it doesn’t mean that you need to share things just to hurt them or for the sake of spilling out your guts. Honesty in a relationship or friendship is not to consciously give misinformation.
- Exploring interests: Try to dig into each other’s interests so that you can have a long list of things that you two could enjoy together as best friends or partners.
- Listening: Listen, listen and keep on listening more. The first step to make your bond stronger is to understand your best friend/partner and listen to them without interruption. Nowadays in our overbooked lives, listening is the biggest challenge since we are always lost in our own thoughts.
- Communication: Communication is a crucial factor in any kind of relationship because if you don’t talk to your partner or best friend about how you feel or any certain situation, many things could go wrong and they’ll misunderstand you. If you are hesitating to open up and talk about things to your partner then you don’t have a good relationship/friendship with your partner/best friend. Communication is key.
- Never hold grudges: When someone you love hurts you, learn to forgive than holding grudges. Forgiveness is one of the greatest qualities of a friendship or relationship and if it isn’t there then everything will fall out of pieces.
- Actions speak louder than words: Constantly saying “I love you” is amazing but showing that you actually love your best friend/partner is beyond indescribable. Show them that they actually mean something to you rather than just saying it.
- Be loyal: As much as possible, place your partner/best friend in your life before anyone else. Show them that they’re special unlike any other in your life. Let them know that you can be depended on if something is needed, show them that you care and you’ll always be there for them.
- Never reminisce on the beginning of the relationship/friendship instead of looking to the future: Every relationship/friendship has its highs and lows but thinking of the old times would just make you can’t stand them anymore and you’ll feel that they changed when in fact, they didn’t. The relationship/friendship just started getting into the next level. Always move forward and never look back.
- Accept their flaws/imperfections and insecurities: Never ever point out their flaws. After getting to know them more, you’ll see their flaws and imperfections standing out but always show them affection and love.
Always be there for your partner/best friend and love them unconditionally without expecting anything in return.
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